heavy heart

Tonight my heart is heavy. I am not feeling sorry for myself or Lindsay. I am just tired. Today she was an amazing little person and had her shunt tapped. She was so good and never flinched when she had blood drawn. It was decided that she is in fact reacting to her tubing. The new tubing, the old tubing and the codman valve. UGH! So now we go onto polyurethane tubing which opens its own can of worms. But we are hoping that the polyurethane tubing, because it does not contain silastic will allow her not to reach to it. I am getting a bit fearful that we are never going to find anything that will allow her to be comfortably shunted.