Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Leaving...

Today I will finish packing, load up my girls stuff and drop them off at Auntie Becca's house. My Mom and Becca will be keeping the girls. It will be a busy week for the girls and my mom and becca. But they always work it out. The best part is that when I get home they always say, "I just don't know how you do it!" That is a pretty awesome thing to hear. :)

Emotionally Gabe has not been doing well. He is not happy that he needs this surgery. It has broken his spirit a wee bit. He is frustrated and just wants this to be over. The hardest part is the fact that he knows that he is going to have to do it again. We do not know how many more surgeries he will need until his brain has enough room to adequately grow. According to his CT from 1.5 weeks ago, the brain had expanded and had nearly filled the cranial vault capacity. While this is good news....the fact that we were only 6 weeks post the end of the distraction process was a bit disheartening. I know that God is in control of this, I just wish we had a more clear answer of how many more surgeries he will need. Pain wise, Gabe's pain is out of control. It is horrible. But he continues to push through. He is an amazing young man.

I am hanging in there. Last night was a rough night. The guilt of leaving the girls was ringing hard in my head. It makes me so sad to leave them. But I have to keep the stiff upper lip and just get through this and make is as easy for the girls as I can. Today will bring tears from Hannah and Fayeth. This is always the hardest part. Even though I am leaving them with Auntie Becca, Hannah is going to clingy to me and sob. I will pry her from me, kiss her and walk away with her crying. My heart breaks every time. Fayeth will cry because Hannah is crying. Lindsay will be strong and be the champion. She will console the girls with Aunt Becca.

I am getting exhausted from this journey. I always have the strength to move forward because of God, but the emotional aspect of this is just so exhausting. I am quite frustrated. 6 surgeries for craniosynostosis. Seriously, he is a single suture with no syndrome. This should not be where we are at. But I thank God that he has given us good doctors, a great hospital, great support staff at the hospital and a marvelous family that will help us through it.

I will try to post updates as often as I can.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

95

A little sad and depression to write....but we were in the hospital 95 days last year. I understand for some that is not a large amount. But for MY family it is. For my small little people that is 3 months. Wow! That is enough to make one very sad. :(

Saturday, April 09, 2011