Wednesday, October 22, 2008

So Proud of one, So disappointed of the other...

A little background. We have a girl that dances with Lindsay and Gabe, we will call her Jane Doe, that Lindsay just forgets who and what she is around. Now, they are not "mean girls". But Jane is the type that likes to have Lindsay just to herself and the 2 of them to be exclusive to each other. Jane talks constantly during class and since her mom is there as a receptionist the Dance Teacher is not able to discipline Jane because the mom makes excuses for her behavior. Jane will talk to Lindsay and Lindsay will answer. Lindsay gets in trouble by me when I hear of this, and she is reminded of being respectful to the Instructor. Jane is use to getting her own way.

Jane cheerleads so she does not dance until October every year. This year Lindsay's dance class is doing very well and they are taking off quite well. The class was learning by leaps and bounds and the Instructor did not have as many issues with Chatty Cathies in the class. Lindsay and Gabe were also asked to join a musical theatre class that is a mixed age group. I spoke with the instructor before and told her that if Gabe and Lindsay were not able to keep up with the older kids to please let me know and we would have them removed from the class. All was well and the kids were keeping up well. One Thursday Jane came to try out the class. Miss B came to me and told me that Lindsay had a real problem keeping her mouth closed during class and that the issue was Jane. Jane would not listen to Miss B and would continue to talk to Lindsay. Lindsay would in turn answer her question when Jane would speak to her, but this was disruptive. Due to scheduling conflicts Lindsay and Gabe had to drop musical theater and thus Jane was not an issue.

Yesterday Lindsay and I had a long talk that Jane would be starting back to dance. We also discussed that Lindsay needed to NOT talk during class to Jane. I discussed respecting Miss A (the instructor) and listening in class. If Jane spoke to her Lindsay was to tell her the first time, "We cannot talk during class" and then "Shhh" or ignore her during class.

So, we have to arrive at the studio at 2:35 for Fayeth 2:45pm class. I got Fayeth into class and waiting back in my car. Around 3:10pm, Jane and her mom (and siblings) pulled into the parking lot, and Jane jumped into my car. I thought, Great! Now the girls will get their chattiness out and be good during class. I did the kid switch at 3:30, took Hannah into the studio and brought Fayeth out. I had my kids stay fastened in their car seats so that I did not have 4 kids jumping around like wild animals in my car and all seemed well.

4:30 rolls around and I take all the kids into the studio to get Hannah and drop off Gabe and Lindsay. I take Hannah and Fayeth back out to the car and ran back into the studio to tell 2 of the ladies about raffle tickets. (Disclaimer-All windows were open, car off w/ radio on, emergency brake on, car right in front of door where I was at. Plus we are in the boonies and one of the other moms in the car next to us was keeping an eye on the kids for me while I ran into the studio. We do this for each other for potty breaks, ect) I am telling Jane's mom about the ticket sales as well as Miss A's mom so everyone was on the same page. I can hear Miss A having a hard time with the noise level in the classroom. I looked into the classroom and of course it was Lindsay and Jane. Miss A looked at me and I said, "Excuse me Miss A, Lindsay what did I discuss with you before class. Now ZIP IT!" Lindsay replied with a look of relief, "Yes, Ma''am". The noise level decreased significantly and they started working on Bar work and terminology. The rule of the "Game" is that if you talk or if you do it wrong you are out. So, I went into the office to finish explaining the tickets and all of a sudden Jane came running into the office pouting and sat her self down on the small beam in the office. Jane's mom told her to go into class and Jane started yelling that she was not going back into class that she got kicked out of the game and that Lindsay was saying SHHH and did not get kicked out and Miss A does not know how to teach a class and that Lindsay needs to be kicked out of the game too. So Jane's mom takes Jane into the studio to talk to Miss Angela about it. I decided to leave at this point.

I go back in after class to get Gabe and Lindsay. Hannah was sleeping and Fayeth was almost asleep in the car. Gabe and Lindsay went out to the car and I was telling Angela that I would not be there next week, nor would the kids. So I go to leave and Jane is in my car again. I tell Jane that she needed to get out of the car now as I needed to leave. Just then a mom from the Nutcracker started asking me a question so I walked over to her car to answer the question. When I walked back, Jane was not in the car. As I was fastening my seatbelt I said, "Did Jane go back into the studio?" Lindsay's little voice from the far back of the car said, "yes". I put the car into reverse and I hear...
Gabe (softly): "She is in the car"
Me: Who?
Gabe: Jane
Me: Where?
Gabe: In the back

I turn around and all I see is a bit of pink on the floor of the far back. I figured it was Lindsay's dance bag. Just then it moved and I realized that it was not a dance bag.

Me: Jane, you need to get out of the car.
Jane: FINE!
She goes to get out when she stops next to Gabe, gets in his face and screams at him..."THANKS A LOT GABE!!!!"

Well, I refused to unlock the door until she apologizes and she finally goes in her snippy attiude way. When she gets out of the car, she refuses to shut the door and screams at me that she hates me. I get out of the car, shut the door and she is pouting along the side of the building.

Me: Jane, what is the problem?
Jane: I HATE YOU and I HATE GABE!!! She then throws her jacket at me and storms into the studio.

I walk into the studio and into the office and I find Jane's mom. I explain that Jane and I had a few words and she has a bit of an attitude about it.

I go on to explain what happened and Jane's mom says, "Well we have spoke and you know that she is having some issues with adjusting right now". OMG! This woman did not make her child apologize or be responsible for her actions. I basically said, "Fine. Talk to you later" and left.

When I got back to the car I immediately praised Gabe for being honest with me even though he knew that he would have to pay the wrath of Jane. I drove for a ways before I could even speak to Lindsay. I was SOOOO PROUD of Gabe and his decision and SOOOOO DISAPPOINTED in Lindsay and her poor judgement and lying to be. When I was able to speak to Lindsay (without snapping her little neck ;) ) I explained that I was not mad at her...I was worse...I was disappointed in her and her lack of judgement. We discussed how she endangered her friends life and that the lying to me was just way out of line.

To handle this situation I am having Lindsay removed from the class. It is not Jane's fault that Lindsay cannot seem to control her mouth and judgement when Jane is around...But I do not have to leave Lindsay in an environment where she is put in that place. Maybe she is not ready for situations like that. But I am nipping this in the bud. First of all because Lindsay does show bad judgement around Jane. Secondly because I NEVER want my child to behave like Jane or believe that she has the right to speak to an adult like Jane did me and other adults.

It is so hard that when you want to relish the joy of a child showing good judgement that you cannot because another one showed such bad judgement. Gabe, I love you buddy and I am SOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!

2 comments:

Kristen said...

Wow. Janes mother needs a swift kick in the arse.

Way to go Gabe!! So are you taking Lindsey out of Dance completely? Is there another class she can be in?

*hugs*

Wendi said...

We have a Jane. Her name is Rowan. Because I can't think of anything nice to say, I'll stop there.

Yay, Gabe!! Good job, kiddo!