Friday, March 14, 2008

Spring is in the air...

and my husband is in a panic. Yesterday I called him at work to ask him where the key for the shed was. Immediately attitude started. “Where did you put it last?” “I don’t know” “You have a key to!!!” He knows what this means. It means PURGE, Toss or Sell. He HATES when I get into this mode. It makes his intestines hurt because he now knows that he has a TO DO list.

The only think that Darren and I get into a disagreement about. His lack of motivation to complete said TO DO list. He believes that he should be able to complete it “When he wants to or When he gets around to it”. It does not work that way. If I am cleaning the garage and I do 99% of the work, then you need to complete your 1% so that the job is complete. He always is bitching that *I* start projects and never complete them. But what really happens is I do 99% of the work and then the 1% that I need him to do because it involves going up on a ladder or lifting something heavy he NEVER does and *I* don’t complete projects. For example, I am waiting for him to place our Christmas trees up in the attic. That involves a ladder and the bag is very heavy. My theory on this is easy. 1) I am scared to death of heights. PETRIFIED!!! 2) If I get hurt WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS? If DARREN gets hurt…there is short term disability. He will get paid to stay home and drive me crazy while he pisses and moans until I take care of him. He could take a vacation. He could lie in his bed for weeks while he recovered. Hell, I would even put his computer up here so he could play his game…if he would just do the damn TO DO LIST.

I am motivated because I am selling all our baby stuff. I already sold 2 cribs and the changing table. So the other crib is being sold, side rail for the twin beds, triple stroller, double stroller, double umbrella stroller, single stroller, single umbrella stroller, a 1 year old car seat that I decided that I no longer liked, and a plethora of toys for children 2 and under. Baby clothes are going as well as the insane about of hunting shit that Darren has collected. You laugh, but I am making that man go out to the garage with me and sort out, log and inventory exactly what he has so that I do not end up with 30 different types of duck calls in my garage in a plastic tote. I am going to copy, and put it into a binder for Darren so when he feels the need to go to Gander Mountain or Cabela’s he knows he will need to check the list so that he does not bring that crap home. It is not like he has even duck hunted in years. We have something around 6 + dozen of duck decoys in our shed. And NO! They are not all the same and YES they need all these there are different types of decoys to attract different types of duck. Lets just put it this way. It would be less expensive for me to go and buy an already fresh dead duck for Darren to have every week than it is for him to hunt for the little amount of meat that he is going to get. And he does not even hunt Duck anymore. You know though, he just might. Yeah whatever. Duck hunting requires getting up too early for you my dear. SELL THE CRAP. J Now you can see why he has this issues. *I* am the voice of reason. Just like the 5 dozen t-shirts he has from college. Sweetheart, in the 11 years we have been dating you have not been able to wear that shirt. You are not going to be able to wear it now. It is dry rotting. Either donate, pitch or let me tear them up and use them as rags. (which btw I would never do, I would just pitch these dry rotted, thread bare t-shirts)

I am thrilled at the though of the space that we will have in our garage. Of course, HE will just fill it up again and *I* will be forced to purge again. It is the nature of the beast being married to him. He has a shopping addiction. That I will go into later. My husband and his inability to walk past ANYTHING that is marked down to 90% off. Just think…Window Air Conditioner Unit.

4 comments:

Jessica said...

If any of those t-shirts say "Purdue" on them I have something you could do with them. ;) I honestly think it is a man thing to horde. Michael has two boxes of shit in the hall closet that I bet have not been touched since 1990. Will he get rid of them, heck to the no.

The Bus Driver said...

What the hell is it with these men??!!! And yes ALL of these shirts either say PURDUE or whatever stupid fraternity he was in. Hey Darren!!! PURDUE SUCKS! :D

(Of course that comment alone will most likely bring on smack talk from the husband)

Lynn said...

ROFL Marcel has his to do list for Saturday and I know it will be completed plus some. I really think I should rent him out huh? LOL

Kristen said...

LOL!!! OMG we married the same man. Good luck motivating him. :-)

Hey, come over to my blog for a second. You were one of the winners!