Friday, May 09, 2008

Happy (belated) 3rd Birthday Fayeth!

Sweet Baby Girl,

When you entered our lives 3 short years ago, I could never imagine how you would just round out our family. You are truly something that we did not know that we were missing. When I found out that I was pregnant with you, I cried. I needed time to get use to the idea that we were going to have ANOTHER baby. But exactly 10 minutes after I told Kristin that I "could possibly be slightly pregnant" I came around. A new Baby!!!!

The next day I decided to tell Daddy. I put the test in Gabe's over alls and sent Gabe out to Daddy. Daddy was thrilled. He was so excited walking around beating his hands on his chest like a cave man saying, "I Man. I knock up infertile wife. TWICE. No drugs"

I was certain from the get go that you were a boy. I know that holding Sweet Baby Corbin was my feelings behind that. He was just perfect. Besides, I wanted to use all those really cute boy clothes that I still had.

We opted not to find out what your gender was, because you know I KNEW. You were a boy! Your name was Ian Declan and I had absolutely no girl name for you. Aunt Shelley and I went shopping and we were talking names. I told her that we were going to name you Olivia if you were a girl (but you weren't so it did not matter) and Aunt Shelley said that that was one of the only names that she and Uncle John both liked. So, I knew her baby (which WAS a girl) would be Olivia. Liv is an Olivia, you have the perfect name for you.

4 days before you were scheduled to be evicted via induction, I let Daddy go away for a weekend with the boys. That Friday as Daddy was boarding his plane to TX, Dr. H called and wanted you to be born the next day. Ummm...NO! The Daddy is in TX. So we opted to wait until your previously scheduled eviction.

The day before your scheduled induction I went in for my weekly ultrasound and NST. You had flipped breech. I was devestated. Due to some pregnancy complications Dr. H had told me that he would not try to do a version to turn you. YIKES.

I spoke with the Dr and he said he would try to turn you. The next morning we head into the hospital. You wanted no part of being turned. For 30 minutes Dr. H twisted my abdomen into pretzels and you would immediately sling shot back into the place you liked. Finally we said enough was enough. It was the most painful thing I had ever had done to me. Hell, I would pass kidney stones unmedicated before I would go through that again. I was checked and I was 5 cm dilated, 90% efface, and my blood pressure was 198/129. I had really wanted you to be born on 05/05/05 but that was not to be. I was scheduled for an afternoon c-section and 30 minutes later I was contracting and they moved everything forward.

I cried over having to have a c-section all the way to the OR, the entire time that they did my spinal and the entire time that I gave directives to the staff on how to proceed with my care. Because you know, I am BOSSY and a CONTROL FREAK.

I was so excited to be meeting Little Ian that when Dr. H said, "It's a girl, I grabbed the drape and pulled it down a bit. I believe that the phrase, "SHUT UP!" and "YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME" must have come out of my mouth.

Then of course I looked at Daddy and said, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO AS A KID TO WARRANT THREE GIRLS????" (Daddy's nick name growing up was Dammit Darren) I was asked what your name was and I said, "Not a clue. You think Ian would work?" The nurse thought that it would not, so I told her that after I got to hold you I would start working on it. Daddy and I literally had no clue what to name you.

You went to the nursery to be stabilized because you were 3 weeks early and not liking being outside the womb much. And I was slowly sewn back up, all the while asking Dr. H "How much longer" and "Why are you talking about kids soccer with this other dr I have never met. Talk to ME. You do have your hands inside of me. (CONTROL ISSUES)

While in recovery I told the recovery nurse that the baby that we could hear screaming down the hall was my baby. She laughed and said, "No, that has to be a baby being circ'd or put on the mummy board for something. No brand new newborn screams like that." I just smiled. I KNEW that had to be you voicing your objections to not being with me. The nursery nurse came down minutes after that conversation and said to me, "You hear that?" I said, "What that screaming that Julie does not believe is my baby?" She laughed and said, "Yes that is YOUR baby and she wants you!" I told her to hurry up and get me to my room ASAP so I could get my hands on that new baby.

I was taken to my room after they hit every door frame down the hall and I was certain that my insides were going to rip out my abdomen. I could then hear the screaming coming closer and closer. Then you came screaming into the room. You were just a spunky little thing. The nurse helped be sit up right. (That sucked) and they took you out of your bassinet. THey placed you in my arms and you immediately stopped screaming. All was right in the world. This was the first time that we truly laid eyes on each other.


It was a breathtaking moment. I knew I loved you when you were inside of me, but at that moment, we bonded in a way that is different than before. It was amazing. I believe with the twins I was too overwhelmed holding 2 babies and thinking "WHAT THE FUCK am I going to do with TWO babies" to remember this moment. With Hannah I was completely out thanks to phenergan. This time it was perfect. I cannot put it into words. In that moment I knew that our lives were missing you.

In the 3 amazing years that you have been in our lives, you have enriched our lived. You are So FUNNY! Everything makes you laugh. You are just such a Momma's Girl. If I say to someone, "I am Hannah's/Lindsay's/Gabe's mommy" you look up at me and said, "please be my mommy, PLEASE??!!!" You love to cuddle with me and you are the first one that tells me good morning every morning.

You are now 3. I wish I knew what this next year will bring you. You are perfect and amazing in every way.

We LOVE YOU!

XOXOXO
Mommy


6 comments:

Lynn T said...

Aww happy belated birthday Miss Fayeth!!

Anna B said...

Oh, that made me cry. I remember telling Linda that I was ready to drive up to Crown Point to be with you, but I couldn't be gone from Meara that long.

Happy Birthday, Fayeth.

Kristen said...

What a sweet story of little Fayeth coming into this world!! I love the picture of her gazing up at you!!!!!! Happy Birthday Fayeth :-)

Marisa said...

Great Birth story with amazing sweet setails but you never did tell how you decided on her name...I love the way you spell it and everything. HOw did you decide on it if you dont mind sharing. Marisa in Alabama (little brother just dx'ed with Chiari and I found your blog when searching about it.)

Kristin said...

That is one of my favorite pictures EVER. I always say it speaks volumes!!! I can't believe three years have gone by, Fayeth Elizabeth! ;)
Nocturnal Macy was sitting with me as I read this and she was all excited yelling "baby! baby! baby!" to the sweet cherb on the screen who is almost two years older than she. Happy Birthday sweet girl! We love you!

Linda said...

That picture always makes me get goose bumps when I see it. Thanks for sharing it again and Happy Birthday Sweet Fayeth!