Sunday, November 11, 2007

Must.Vent...

#1) At 3:30am after we have been up for 45 minutes because of such a loud (1 time bang of thunder) DON'T REACH OVER AND GRAB MY ASS!!!! I DON'T LIKE BEING GROPED! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF. It is 3:30am, *I* will be up at 7am with 4 children and I am getting sick. YOU will sleep however long your little heart desires so DAMN YOU, keep your hands to yourself. Besides...DID YOU SHOWER TODAY? STAY AWAY!

#2) Loud Thunder. WHAT THE HELL!!! It was ONE bang of thunder. Loud enough to shake our windows in our house. Loud enough that I thought, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Loud enough that both Mr I can't keep my hands to myself at 3:30am and I thought that it could have perhaps been a gas line that blew up.

#3) Fall. I happen to like my nicely wooded lot. I like not being able to see the house that is sort of behind us. Because when you wake up at 3am and cannot go back to sleep thinking someone's house blew up and I look out the back door and your freaking backyard looks like it is illumnated like a freaking football field for a night game it makes me concerned that your house did infact blow up, or atleast have a gas leak. Leaves stay on the damn trees!

#4) Said Neighbor with the Football Stadium lights in their back yard. Can you please atleast make your neighbors aware that you will be installing stadium lights in your back yard so that this fall your neighbors will not worry that your house has blown up. Besides...Your freaking lights illuminate my back yard. Did I tell you how much I like my yard when the leaves are on the tree?

#5) Mr. I cannot keep my hands to myself at 3:30am. Do Not even act all shocked when I very sternly tell you to keep your fucking hands to yourself at 3:30 AM. Before we had kids I did not want sex at 3:30am...and I sure as hell do not want it now. If you have the urge to grab someones ass. GRAB YOUR OWN! :) I rank this experience right up there with your complaints of me sticking my ice cold feet on your inner thigh in the middle of the night. SO.NOT.NICE!

4 comments:

Anna B said...

This is why I still sleep with Meara and am not enthusiastic to have the man back in the bed. I try to visit him very often, but I am not working toward a full-time party.

Jessica said...

Tell Mr Grabby that if he was some at 3:30 in the morning he had darn well be ready to wake with the children at 7. If not keep his hands to himself.

Wendy said...

And this is why I so often sleep in my big, brown recyliner DOWNSTAIRS. My Mr. Grabbyhands may want some, but he a'int taking his butt downstairs to get some. (Thank God! Or I'd have to move my chair to the garage, lol!)

Lynn said...

1.

Tell Mr Grab your ass to get up with the kids...

2. You would CERTAINLY know if your neighbor's house blew up because your windows would be blown in or better yet have some of their floor joists stuck through the side of your house..Just to make sure, you could always send out Mr. Grabby Ass to check it out..

ROFLMAO