I first must start this off by saying...GRILLING HAMBURGERS is NOT my job Dar ren! Had YOU done YOUR JOB and GRILLED the DAMN BURGERS we would not have gotten food poisoning.
Second of all, I was not going to blog this as I was NOT compassionate to my husband yesterday. He was ill. OH SO VERY ILL! ON HIS DEATH BED ILL! And I, being his loving and caring wife who is a nurse and took vows til death do us part....used the phrase whiny pain in the ass selfish baby NUMEROUS times.
I went to bed Tuesday night with a tummy ache. I KNEW that I was going to be sick but tried to bargain with God. "Please don't let me be sick. If I am please let it be a 1 time thing. I will do ANYTHING I have 4 kids that I have to take care of". I woke up Wednesday morning, knowing that this was going to happen. I take my shower and of course have to purge the remains of my under cooked hamburger. As I get myself back into the shower I think, "OH MY GOD! Had I had morning sickness...THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO FURTHER CHILDREN!" You crazy ladies who puke for months on end and do it again.....You really need your head examined as I would rather cut my toes off one by one with a spoon than puke.
During this time I did not realize that my husband got out of bed, called work and called off because his tummy hurts. He was not vomiting, nor had diarrhea and here I was with both. I was not a happy girl when I got out of the shower and realized that. ESPECIALLY WHEN HIS ASS WENT BACK TO BED! So, since I was SOOOO pissed at him for his SELFISHNESS I told him that if he were REALLY THAT SICK that HE had to stay in BED until the kids went to bed because I WAS NOT having the kids get sick on top of the strep. So, he stays in bed all day long, ya know I REALLY had to twist him arm to do that, and I am stewing. The only moments of pure pleasure are when I hear him hit the bathroom. MANY.MANY.MANY TIMES :) ( Yes I KNOW I AM AN EVIL MEAN BITCH)
I get all 4 of the kids tucked into bed and his ROYAL HIGHNESS gets out of bed comes down and starts WHINING on the couch. Holy Crap I snapped.
"SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! NONE OF THE 4 KIDS WHINED AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE IN THE PAST 5 MINUTES!"
* Insert SICK MAN ON DEATH BED WHINY VOICE * "Why are you so mean to me?"
"I am not being mean. I AM NOT going to listen to you whine like a freaking baby. SHUT UP and SUCK IT UP!"
"But you just don't understand. I am miserable. I am suffering. I am in so much pain. PAIN! You just don't understand pain! I am MORE SICK than you!"
"OH. MY. GOD!!!! HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW HOW SICK I WAS! YOU ARE SELFISH AND THINK OF YOURSELF ALL DAY LONG!!!! STOP YOUR WHINING!"
"Why are you so mean to me?" * Insert forcing out fake tears * "I am in SO MUCH PAIN! YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ME!!! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
I COMPLETELY LOST any reserve of patience that I had with this man and told him, "Then GO TO THE FUCKING ER! IF YOU ARE SO SICK THEN GO TO THE ER! I AM NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU WHINE ALL.NIGHT.LONG!"
"Why are you so mean to me?"
"MEAN! ME MEAN!!!!!! DUDE! I had a baby. C-section and my incision opened up and WHO THE HELL HELPED ME???? KRISTIN and her FOUR CHILDREN!!! NOT YOU!!!! SHE FLEW 1100 MILES TO HELP ME! YOU LEFT ME DIRTY DISHES. DIRTY LAUNDRY AND YOU DID NOT EVEN HAVE THE KIDS DURING THAT TIME!!!!! LETS NOT EVEN GET STARTED ON BEING MEAN AND WHAT PAIN IS!!!"
"I am going back to bed. You are so mean!"
"Go to bed and STOP WHINING!"
So, I can hear him moaning and groaning in bed and making his WHINE I AM A MAN IN PAIN sounds. During this time I am chatting with Kristin... I excuse myself...and I go and open our bedroom door. "If you are going to act like a freaking baby I am going to treat you as one. You have 2 choices. If you are in THIS MUCH PAIN you either need to shove these 2 Tigan 100mg suppositories up your ass or go to the ER. There is NO OTHER CHOICE. Pick one of the 2."
* Insert whimper whine moan * "No I am fine"
"No, THAT was not a choice. ER or suppositories. You refuse suppositories I will call 9-1-1 to take you to the ER"
"What will they do to me at the ER?"
"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED AND PUT THESE SUPPOSITORIES UP YOUR ASS NOW! GET OUT OF BED DARREN! You DO NOT WANT ME TO PUT THEM IN YOUR ASS! YOU WILL REGRET THAT DECISION FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. AND YOU WILL WISH THAT THAT LIFE WAS VERY SHORT!!! AND OMG! OUR CHILD HAS HAD HIS HEAD CRACKED OPEN LIKE AN EGG TWICE AND NOT COMPLAIN AS MUCH AS YOU!!!!"
Least to say...he got out of bed and did it.
Today him tummy is grumbly an OF COURSE still hurts....However I have to love his techs....
Dar ren's new name at work..."POOPSIE!"
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
No Title...
This was taken out my front window this morning, That is my neighbor Mr J. And YES, he is MOWING while it snows.....I must get out the whip and get MY yard bitch moving. :)
Opening Day Soccer....
Saturday was the first game of the Spring soccer season. The kids were excited. Dar ren had to work. So I had to take all the children with me. Normally this is not a problem, however the weather was. 26* at 9:45am when I left the house. With windchill it was 9*. And we had SNOW FLURRIES.
I bundled up the kids the best I could. We arrived for our 10:30 game at 10:10 which gave me time to buy the "treat coupons" from the concession stand and make 1 trip to the port a potty before the game was suppose to start. Of course NO ONE (except me) is on time and the game starts late. I had my king sized down comforter with us and another comforter so we could sit on one and bundle in one. Only 5 kids from the twins team showed (2 being my kids) so as the kids rotated off the field (they play 3 at a time) they would come and bundle under the blanket with me, Hannah and Fa ye th. Fay e th cannot handle being too bundled up and she cannot wear mittons/gloves because of sensory overload so I was tryin to keep her as warm as possible but the blanket was too much for her too.
30 minutes into the game, Han nah is crying from head and neck pain and she swears she no longer has fingers. G abe comes off the field nearly hysterical from pain. Head, neck, fingers, ears and the ringing in his ears is driving him "crazy". His asthma is flaring up because it is SOO cold an he was so tight. Lind say is on the field crying from her fingers and ears hurting. Another 2 children on the other team are crying. Fa yeth has screamed the entire game from the wind.
I had it. I am just a parent at soccer, but *I* call a time out and pull LB off the field. I thought she was mad, but after talking she was not mad. GRATEFUL that I got her off the field. By the time we got to the car other parents had done the same and were already loading their kids into the car. It was awful. The kids cried for 45 minutes until they regained use of their fingers and their ears thawed. G abe scored 1 goal and LB 3. Hannah begged me not to make her go to another soccer game if it is that cold. Don't worry baby...I WON'T!
If you ask the kids if they had a good time at soccer they will reply, "IT WAS SOOO COLD!" LOL
I bundled up the kids the best I could. We arrived for our 10:30 game at 10:10 which gave me time to buy the "treat coupons" from the concession stand and make 1 trip to the port a potty before the game was suppose to start. Of course NO ONE (except me) is on time and the game starts late. I had my king sized down comforter with us and another comforter so we could sit on one and bundle in one. Only 5 kids from the twins team showed (2 being my kids) so as the kids rotated off the field (they play 3 at a time) they would come and bundle under the blanket with me, Hannah and Fa ye th. Fay e th cannot handle being too bundled up and she cannot wear mittons/gloves because of sensory overload so I was tryin to keep her as warm as possible but the blanket was too much for her too.
30 minutes into the game, Han nah is crying from head and neck pain and she swears she no longer has fingers. G abe comes off the field nearly hysterical from pain. Head, neck, fingers, ears and the ringing in his ears is driving him "crazy". His asthma is flaring up because it is SOO cold an he was so tight. Lind say is on the field crying from her fingers and ears hurting. Another 2 children on the other team are crying. Fa yeth has screamed the entire game from the wind.
I had it. I am just a parent at soccer, but *I* call a time out and pull LB off the field. I thought she was mad, but after talking she was not mad. GRATEFUL that I got her off the field. By the time we got to the car other parents had done the same and were already loading their kids into the car. It was awful. The kids cried for 45 minutes until they regained use of their fingers and their ears thawed. G abe scored 1 goal and LB 3. Hannah begged me not to make her go to another soccer game if it is that cold. Don't worry baby...I WON'T!
If you ask the kids if they had a good time at soccer they will reply, "IT WAS SOOO COLD!" LOL
Thursday, April 05, 2007
5 years....no longer counting....
Last night Dh and I did something that we have not been able to do since March 2002. We went out for dinner JUST THE 2 OF US! I got to eat HOT food. I did not have to cut up anyone’s meal, I did not have anyone sneaking their little fingers on my plate to steal my dinner. I did not have to pay $20.00 for prime rib that my kids would have wanted because why eat chicken fingers when you can have prime rib. LOL We had adult conversation and did not have to speak in code so that the kids would either NOT understand what we were talking about or not REPEAT what we said to others. Did I say that I got to eat HOT FOOD. UNINTERRUPTED conversation? NO POTTY TRIPS during our meal?
I doubt that we will be going out again alone anytime in the near future. We prefer to eat with our children and spend time with them due to Dh's work schedule he does not always get a lot of time with them. But, the taste of what our old life was like was nice. I was MORE THAN HAPPY to get home to the kids. They had a great time with Gramma and Grampa. But it is nice when they are happy to see you :).
My friends with larger sized families will appreciate the humor in this. Before we left the restaurant Dh and I decided to use the restroom. Well we walked through this one section of the restaurant and there was this rather large sized family sitting at a table. 2 adults 2 teenagers 3 younger children. Dh and I laughed and said "Poor family, has to sit off all by themselves because they have so many children. Do you think they know what causes that? Do you think they are all theirs? Oh my!" We giggled and went on our way. As we were walking back through that section to leave, the dad looked up and it was an old friend that I use to work with. I had to go and say hi and laugh about being seated by themselves. Their kids are all awesomely behaved and are beautiful and have such awesome manners. It was really nice to see Roy. He only had 5 of his 6 children with him. But man was it nice to see other families with lots of children out and about. The ironic thing is, Roy lives less than a mile from me and I have to drive 30+ just to accidentally bump into him. Of course his theory is that we need to have 2 more. LOL Thanks Buddy, but I think that I will pass on that. :)
Then we had to head to Walmart for the basket stuff. I need to pick up fruit Friday. But we are finally done. YEAH!!! Dh and Pops will be putting 2 of the 3 bikes together today. I can’t wait until Sunday. Can the Easter Bunny come earlier?
I doubt that we will be going out again alone anytime in the near future. We prefer to eat with our children and spend time with them due to Dh's work schedule he does not always get a lot of time with them. But, the taste of what our old life was like was nice. I was MORE THAN HAPPY to get home to the kids. They had a great time with Gramma and Grampa. But it is nice when they are happy to see you :).
My friends with larger sized families will appreciate the humor in this. Before we left the restaurant Dh and I decided to use the restroom. Well we walked through this one section of the restaurant and there was this rather large sized family sitting at a table. 2 adults 2 teenagers 3 younger children. Dh and I laughed and said "Poor family, has to sit off all by themselves because they have so many children. Do you think they know what causes that? Do you think they are all theirs? Oh my!" We giggled and went on our way. As we were walking back through that section to leave, the dad looked up and it was an old friend that I use to work with. I had to go and say hi and laugh about being seated by themselves. Their kids are all awesomely behaved and are beautiful and have such awesome manners. It was really nice to see Roy. He only had 5 of his 6 children with him. But man was it nice to see other families with lots of children out and about. The ironic thing is, Roy lives less than a mile from me and I have to drive 30+ just to accidentally bump into him. Of course his theory is that we need to have 2 more. LOL Thanks Buddy, but I think that I will pass on that. :)
Then we had to head to Walmart for the basket stuff. I need to pick up fruit Friday. But we are finally done. YEAH!!! Dh and Pops will be putting 2 of the 3 bikes together today. I can’t wait until Sunday. Can the Easter Bunny come earlier?
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